While I was in New Orleans last week having an incredible time as usual, I got to thinking about what do I consider to be the marks of a successful young man in today’s society. Luckily enough, the bar has been lowered to the point that all you have to do is show up to be considered an ok guy, so here are a few of the marks that I think make a dude, pretty ok.
1. Lie.
By this I mean not only to simply lie, but believe your own lie. A well-placed lie can get you out of a number of hairy situations. It’s like the best emergency tool ever, but you have to lie and CONVINCE yourself that it is true. I’ve been called a good liar and I take that as a compliment.
2. Drink a little bit of Liquor. A lot. For several years.
It sounds like it’s a horrible thing, but hell we all watch Mad Men and those dudes look like they are nothing but successful! You need to be able to have a smidge of liquor nightly so that anytime you go out you can have a tiny glass of scotch or whiskey and be able to function like you didn’t even drink. GET THE TOLERANCE UP!
3. Don’t go to Strip Clubs in the afternoon. Ever.
If you find yourself in a strip club in the afternoon, you either have absolutely NO prospects, were recently dumped, or you are a flat out loser. Any of those scenarios has much better ways of being dealt with. The only other reason you would be at a strip club in the afternoon is if you are with your bros and you are black out drunk. Go home instead. Your wallet will thank you. The afternoon D-league Squad is not worth your hard earned cash and their C-Scars are usually a tell-tale sign that they are carrying a lot more baggage than you’d ever want anything to do with. (especially if you are still frequenting strip clubs)
